When he came back

That evening, after Jodie and Jackie had helped me change the locks, I sat in the living room with Jane Doe.  MaKayla and her friend Katie were in her room.  It was dark, but I saw Katie's mom through the window and called for MaKayla-  that's when Jane said 'NO!'

I got up and opened the door, and there was Doug.  Katie's mom gave me questioning glance as Katie walked out the door.  MaKayla was still in her room and was told to stay there. 

Doug glanced down at the love seat and saw that his DVD's and bags of clothes were there.  He shot me a dirty look and asked where his socks were.  I told him there were clean whites on the bed and he walked off in that direction.

'Do you want me to leave?' Jane asked.

'No, please stay,' I answered.

Doug called from the bedroom.  'Can you come here please?'

I took a deep breath and got up.  I should have known he would come back.  When had I ever refused to take him back after an argument?  He always came back.

I walked into the bedroom.  

'So what am I supposed to do?  Where am I supposed to go?  This really fucks me up'.

Something in me snapped.

'What the hell am I supposed to do?  I've got CPS coming to here tomorrow...'  I didn't get a chance to finish.  For the first time, Doug got angry.  He raised his voice.  He was finally showing some kind of emotion.

'WHAT?  That's just fucking great!'  He stormed out.

I followed him in, standing in the dining room.  He stormed into the back bedroom, coming out with a Desert Eagle replica air gun.  The orange tip had been painted black, and it was very hard to tell it wasn't real.  

'I'm not going to prison!  When the cops come I'm going to point this at them and make them shoot me!'  He stopped and looked at me.  Again, this was a classic Doug move, although there had never been a situation this extreme.  I was at a complete loss for words.  He wanted to wave a gun at police officers and make them shoot him...  I had nothing to say to that.  I think I was still in shock at seeing a reaction from him, finally.  He stormed around the house, Jane trying to calm him down.  She called her husband, Doug's best friend, telling him what was happening.  Doug continued to stalk about, stomping his feet and making crazy threats.  I stood where I was, my mind racing. 

I realized something right then.  He didn't show any anger or any emotion at all until I told him CPS was called.  I really think, knowing him, that he actually thought this would all blow over...  until he realized it had been reported.

Doug knows what mandatory reporting is.  His mother had been in childcare for years and had to make those calls, even testifying in court.  We had, ourselves, just been informed of mandatory reporting when Doug took Timmy into a counselor because of what was going on at home with his mom.  The counselor explained it to both of us before making a call to CPS to report Lucifer.

Doug just hadn't put two and two together and realized that summer camp workers are also mandatory reporters.

It took awhile, but Doug finally left.  I didn't sleep that night.  I kept wondering if he was going to off himself, and was wondering if I even cared.  Did I know what my daughter had accused him of, in detail?  No.  But Doug's reactions, or lack thereof, had me wondering if he had done it.  And I lay there that night, not caring if he killed himself.