Reasons

So the reasons I began this blog. Well first of all, the shrink I was seeing when all of this first happened suggested it. I couldn't just keep a journal because I was afraid MaKayla would see it. Same with keeping one on the computer. I had searched and searched online and in bookstores for something from a mother's point of view, someone who was in my position. I wanted to know that all the thing I was feeling had been felt by someone else. I wanted answers and I thought that if there were a book or something I might find, written by someone who had already been through it. I found nothing.

So I decided, with the help of my awesome friend, Jessie, that this would be the way to go. I thought that maybe there would be another mother out there, going through hell, looking for something and that reading this would make that mother know she wasn't alone.

I have allowed myself to be sucked into juvenile, immature cyber-feuds. I regret this because I know I am better than that. So from now on there will be no more attacks. And should those out there feel the need to continue acting like the children they are, I will just delete them without any written retaliation. All of that is beneath me and quite frankly I am ashamed of myself for sinking to that level.

So if there is a mother out there, I hope that maybe I've said something in here that makes you know you're not alone. I think that as mothers we feel a lot of shame when our children are sexually abused by someone we not only know, but love. We shouldn't be ashamed, any more than our children should be ashamed. I feel like we should feel empowered at the end of the long road that someone else has put us on, because to make it through this even a little bit sane is quite a feat... Getting our children through this is something to be proud of, real proof of our strength, courage and love.